New Texas Chainsaw Massacre Board Game Embodies the Movie's Gruesome Spirit

The press release describes the game, aimed at ages 13+ and estimated to run 45-60 minutes, as “a one-vs-many fight for survival!” Designed for two to five players, it pits the Sawyer family (the game’s instructions advise the “most experienced game player” in your group to take that role) against two to four trespassers, depending on how many people are playing; if it’s just a two-person game, the non-Sawyer player controls two trespassers. “In this game, there are no winners—there are only survivors,” the press release continues. “Will you make it out alive, or end up on the menu?”

It might be important to note that there’s no actual cannibalism in the game, but it is certainly implied—especially if you’re familiar with the movie, which buoyed its genius title with one of the greatest tag lines of all time: “Who will survive, and what will be left of them?”

The creators of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Slaughterhouse are clearly fans of the source material, and it shows in the game’s many details. The art is generally fantastic and appropriately gruesome; the miniatures are dead-on (behold: tiny Leatherface with his chainsaw upraised!), if a bit flimsy; and while the scenarios—there are five, of increasing difficulty—don’t mirror the plot of the movie, they fit seamlessly into the Texas Chainsaw Massacre world. The entry-level scenario is even called “Who Will Survive?”, and it’s a race to see if trespassers, who’re blundering around Texas backroads after experiencing car trouble, can gather the items necessary to start one of the vehicles on the Sawyer property and GTFO before they’re attacked and killed.

Note the “bone” dice. No detail is left un-horror-ified in this game.

Once you sort out who’ll be playing which characters and have unfolded the boards depicting the two-story Sawyer home and yard, you then have a not-insignificant amount of set-up to get through. There are multiple sets of cards to sort and arrange; some have different items that must be distributed according to how many trespassers are playing and which scenario you’re doing, and others help guide both “good guy” and “bad guy” player actions and abilities.

As you play the game, there are also “injury cards” (for when, inevitably, a cackling Sawyer confronts a shrieking trespasser) and an array of tokens for marking when you’ve completed stages of your turn, when a trespasser has searched a room, when a trespasser has made noise, when something is set on fire, etc. In other words: make sure you have a decent-sized playing surface, because there are a lot of pieces to keep organized, even at the most basic level.

Once you’re set up, you start taking turns; each scenario poses different challenges for the trespassers beyond mere survival, ranging from the aforementioned car theft to looting the house to burning the house to rummaging through private property to find proof of the Sawyers’ crimes. (Look, it’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Even the people who get hung on meat hooks can have dubious moral compasses.) Meanwhile, the Sawyers enter the game one by one—you start with just the Old Man, then as the cleverly chainsaw-shaped “panic meter” rises, more join the party—and try to eliminate their uninvited guests. The gameplay is propelled by dice rolls and cards, and for the basics of each turn, trespassers can move, run, and search/swap item cards with other trespassers (there’s also a hiding option depending on where you are), while Sawyers can move, hunt, and attack.

True to the movie, “Grandpa cannot move on his own, but any other Sawyer can carry him when they take a move action.”

Experienced board game players may have an easier time keeping track of all the moving parts, but more casual fans might find certain aspects more challenging. Like all games, there’s a learning curve, and you’ll likely find yourself glued to the instruction manual during the first several go-rounds, and possibly realizing after it’s too late that you forgot to do something important on your turn.

Just one example: every time a trespasser moves through a doorway, they make noise, which necessitates drawing a “noise” token. When your turn is over, you must roll two dice to see if you should return the token to the supply or hand it over to the Sawyer player, who then uses it as a “fear” token to advance the panic meter, among other purposes. It’s a necessary part of the mechanics, but it’s easy to overlook. Also, little additions, like the cubes you’re supposed to advance on individual player cards to indicate how many actions you’ve taken per turn can feel unnecessary—as does the tiny cardboard “Freezer Box” meant to contain the item deck. It looks very cool, no pun intended, and is a nifty callback to the movie, but stuffing the cards in there is just another step in a game that already has plenty. (Fortunately you can skip both of these without any negative effects.)

Over time, and with acquired skill, the many tokens and cards and assorted fiddly bits will obviously become a more seamless part of gameplay, so if you don’t mind a bit of slow going at the outset, you’ll be rewarded for sticking with it. One thing you can’t improve with practice, though, it what’s probably the biggest bummer of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Slaughterhouse. If you’re playing a trespasser who dies—which occurs when you receive four injuries affecting your hand, foot, heart, and head—you’re out of the game, full stop. That’s great for the Sawyer player, because it means they’re one step closer to winning. But for the person playing as that particular trespasser, they’ve got nothing to do until the game is over—except maybe sit back and watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which hosts should be required to project in the background while the game is going on.

It goes without saying that your enjoyment of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Slaughterhouse will be greatly enhanced if you’re a fan of the Tobe Hooper movies. People who lovingly quote lines like “A whole family of Draculas!” in their everyday life (guilty) will appreciate its artwork and writing, not to mention all the references it contains—and its own obvious affection for Leatherface and crew. Existing fans are also going to have more patience for the game’s complexities; it’s hard to imagine anyone who isn’t into horror movies getting excited about being chased around by drooling lunatics wielding straight razors and chainsaws... even if it’s just on a game board.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Slaughterhouse is coming soon from Funko Games; keep an eye on the official website to learn more.

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